We’re all gamers, it’s why you’re here reading this article, on this very website, from our little Facebook page. We all have our favourite titles we fondly remember, or follow on with comics, short stories, fan fiction, novels and sometimes, movies. We follow certain storylines and lore, characters and their adventures, and look forward to what the future holds for these avatars. However, there are those who love nothing more than to ruin the experience for us. (no spoilers ahead)
You’re going to die in a horrid car crash
Last week, we saw the release of God of War for the PlayStation 4. A game that tells the story of Kratos in his later years. It hasn’t even been a week yet, and already there are people on social media such as Youtube and Twitter, spoiling the ending or plot twist for those who are still struggling to find the time to invest time into their favourite franchise.
Alcohol will be the death of you
Games these days play out like epic movies or fantastic soap operas, with huge emphasis on motion capture, facial animations (including you, Mass Effect Andromeda), and monumental voice acting. Gameplay is also an important factor, but it’s the stories that keep fans invested, and keep players coming back with every release. I remember when Gears of War 3 was spoiled for me prior to getting far into the game. I was heartbroken to hear it, and it definitely dulled the emotional response I had when I encountered the spoiled moment.
You were adopted. Sorry. You weren’t meant to know
What do these spoiler-people get from ruining the surprise for fans or viewers? “I finished it first, let me be the one to tell you how it ends, because I know you Ito know!” Seriously, why do you feel the need to tell people. Yes, we know the boat sank in Titanic (spoilers, sorry!), but did you have to tell everyone as soon as you walked out of the theater?!
You’ll lose your job to someone younger, more attractive, more skilled, and who will work for cheaper
Of course, I’m sitting here typing this as if I’m suddenly going to become the hero and change the course of history, as if Youtubers will flock to this piece and suddenly have a change of heart; realising the errors of their ways. It will still happen. You on the other hand, will be told to avoid social media for a week while you play through your game, and will actively avoid Youtube in case its ‘Recommended viewing’ or Suggestions feature something you didn’t want to see. An article by another gaming news outlet will feature articles based around the bit you don’t want spoiled, and friends in passing will let it slip one day in conversation, assuming you already passed that level/stage/part.
Your house will burn down
Nobody wants to know the ending. Nobody wants you to tell them. You don’t go looking for the ending on the back of the box to decide if you want to buy it. You don’t go looking for the 5 minute ending video on your way to the store before buying the game. You don’t read the last chapter of a novel, or cut to the last few minutes of a movie. The story it to be enjoyed by the viewer, the reader, the player. It doesn’t need YOU to be the bearer of spoilers!
Likewise, you don’t want to know how your life will play out. It’s a game with its own story, your own adventures, your own decisions to be made. You wouldn’t want that ending spoiled for you, would you?
Your partner will leave you to be with me