Deadpool SPOILER Review

deadpoolHey chimichanga fans, fangirls, and fanboys alike! This guy right here was lucky enough to see Deadpool and while we have the lovely standard review out, I wanna dive into the meat and potatoes of this movie and what makes it, with some thoughts for the future sprinkled in. From here on out there are nothing but spoilers and swears, two or three of my favorite S-words. I repeat there are Deadpool spoilers abundant, do not read this until you’ve seen the movie or if you’re a greedy person that just like things ruined. Below are spoilers and intense language.

Still there? You’ve been warned.

First let me give you some fan knowledge of Deadpool. Wade Wilson was a top special operative agent before his dishonorable discharge. He meets the love of his life, Vanessa, and also gets terminal cancer. He’s contacted for recruitment for the Weapon X program where he’s injected with experimental serum with a regenerative/recovery factor and the sadistic Ajax tests Wade with numerous different pain exercises. Wade is known for being a smart ass and never shutting up, after taunting Ajax to a huge degree (in the comics) Ajax rips out Wade’s heart and leaves him for dead. Luckily, Wade’s healing factor is jump started and he goes out in search of vengeance against Ajax after nearly being killed and receiving a horrible face disfigurement.

This movie is the shit if you’re a Deadpool fan. It’s got penis jokes, enough blood to make Marcus Fenix shed a tear, and a beautiful Stan Lee cameo of him being a DJ, and talking about what a stripper will do for $3. It’s everything that a Deadpool movie should be, except they forgot the god damn voices in his head.

As a comic purist of anything I look for how these characters are rationalized to the masses. Batman purists know that Bats seldomly ever (though he has) use a gun, Superman has killed (making the whines of Man of Steel basically bullshit), and Deadpool has multiple personalities in his head that spew dialogue and fight with one another. It’s a cornerstone of the character that I was really bummed not to see in an otherwise great rendition of the character that’s mostly faithful to the source material. However I have a theory.

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So near the end of our journey Deadpool fights Ajax and Ajax puts a good sized knife in his right hemisphere. That’s right, Deadpool takes a fucking knife to the brain, and the effect of this is that he sees the love of his life right next to him and some hallucinated cartoon characters. Now listen up Hollywood, because fans will bitch about this the way that I am, here’s how you make it golden. In Deadpool 2: Electric Boogaloo, make the result of the knife in his head the sporadic talking voices that we know and love. It would be a perfect segway and complete the perfect adaptation of Deadpool.

As we were, Ryan Reynolds kills this role. He embodies this character and I want to see him around longer than we’ve seen Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Speaking of Hugh, there are some brilliant references to not only prior X-Men movies, but the abomination that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The movie even pokes fun at the incredibly mediocre Green Lantern movie that Reynolds was in a few years back. The 4th wall is broken numerous times as it should be, hearing Deadpool bitch about the lack of budget for the movie, his 127 hours joke while cutting off his own hand, directly referencing plot points, these are just some of the few and many wonderful comedic moments that absolutely nail the humor of the character.

But enough about the man of the hour/guy that the movie is named after, the supporting cast deserves its commendations. Colossus is the breakout role, the only thing in this movie that has a heart (or at least a good one) comes off as an upbeat Russian. Finally someone got the character right, there’s a moment where he’s fighting Angel Dust and her breast comes out and he covers his eyes and mentions this to her. She compliments his sweet heartedness and rewards him with a swift, super powered punch to the testicles in a scene that I won’t ever forget that poor man’s facial expression. The way Colossus talks and how he interacts with Negasonic Teenage Warhead and all the characters for that matter make him a delightful good-touch.

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Rounding out the cast Wade Wilson’s love interest is Vanessa who plays a good counterpart to the already looney Wade Wilson. She accepts him even after he goes through Weapon X without telling her, leaves her hanging for about a year, is as the movie explains “unfuckable” because of his breathing incident, and yet she still takes him back. Love really is in the air. Ajax serves purpose as a villain and not too much more. You grow to not like him but the best part of Ajax is how he and Wade interact. Rounding out the cast is the surprisingly effective Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Wade’s best friend; Weasel. NTW fulfills the stereotype of a teenage girl always on her phone at inappropriate times, being overly moody, and so on. She becomes pretty helpful and innovative under pressure. Weasel is almost like the anti-Wade Wilson in the sense that he really doesn’t want to do anything other than contribute to comedy. He’s a dick, a sarcastic asshole, a pop culture savvy smartass, he helps Wade but very limitedly. He’s like the stoner friend that says something funny but you probably wouldn’t want to hang out with too often because he has the productivity of a rock at the bottom of the ocean; he’s still good for humor that sad and the movie knows it.

Let’s rewind to the beginning to what easily are some of the best opening credits of all time. The 4th wall is immediately broken when Weasel’s opening title is “the comedy relief” the writers are “the real heroes” and the villain is “British guy” all whilst Deadpool is killing four people in an SUV in slow motion. The entire opening sequence is fantastic from how Deadpool kills a group of thugs with twelve bullets to how he interacts when Colossus and NTW show up. It’s a near perfect opening sequence, the non-linear story telling (switching in and out of time, showing the present then the past and so on) worked out pretty well. The film starts to drag near the middle but picks up pace at the end and gives us a smoothing and sensual finale complete with the moist sounds of George Michael’s “Careless Whispers”.

As this review is getting a little girth-y, let’s sum things up. We have a tremendous rendition of Deadpool thanks to the devotion of Ryan Reynolds, an uproar of a comedy-funnier than every movie I saw in 2015, and a newly greenlit sequel. Sure there are bumps in the road but when you exit the theater you realize how much fun you had, how often you laughed, you try to remember the great material and the sharp quotes and reference, and you feel satisfied. But before you leave the theater do know that there are two extra post credits scenes so don’t leave just yet. I hope you’ve enjoyed my spontaneous spoiler review, let me know what you think of the movie.

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Too long; Didn’t Read: My Review in a nutshell

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